Being on bed rest provides one with plenty of time to think... quite possibly too much time to think. And, seeing as how I tend to over analyze things anyway, I'm not sure that it's actually healthy to do this much thinking. However, thinking is what I have done, and here's what I've discovered...
I adore my husband. I don't just love him or like him or think he's swell. I adore him. I have been in love with him for over thirteen years, and I am so truly blessed that I find myself loving him more and more with each new day. I treasure every second that we have together, and the past few months have made me more and more aware of this fact. After surviving a major car accident, being put on bed rest, and just being pregnant in general, it has become very clear to me how much of an impact this man has on my life. He worries about me, protects me, takes care of me, makes me laugh, and loves me. He is my best friend.
As our days of just being the two of us are quickly coming to an end, I am filled with a bittersweet feeling. I am beyond thrilled to be having this man's child, and I can't wait to meet our little guy, but at the same time, there is a hint of sadness. I'm so used to us just being us... doing what we want to do, when we want to do it, and how we want to do it. I'm used to the intimacy of always knowing what the other is thinking, not having to talk, or talking all night. And, I'm used to having each other all to ourselves.
I would be lying if I said that I haven't been mourning the loss of being two. Because we've never been anything other than just the two of us, I have no idea what to expect. "Anxious" is not even an adequate word to describe the way I feel.
However, I know that this little baby is going to rock our world in only the best way possible. Once we started trying, God wasted no time in sending him our way. So, he must be something special. I know that we have so many wonderful memories ahead of us... memories that I can't even begin to imagine. And, I know that this little boy is going to bring us even closer together.
Now, I just pray that God will help us through this transition. I pray that He will take away any anxiety that we may be feeling. And, I pray that He will help us to grow closer together as a married couple so that we can share this love with our son and show him how beautiful marriage can be.
So, to my wonderful, sweet husband, Blake... You are the love of my life. Thank you for making my world so beautiful.
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